Will I ever know what I am doing??

I have done 3 shifts of my preceptorship rotation at a local hospitals ICU. The hospital is smaller and not as fast paced as I am used to in the ER I work at (so far) . Yet, I am weak at things like pharmacology, interpreting lab values, assessments, paperwork and the flow of things. I know that most of these things will take time yet, right now I just feel lost! I feel like "Will I ever know what I am doing??” One of the nurses I worked with today said "No, a part of you will always feel incompetent" ... I don't like that mindset!

It is going pretty well so far but I have a LOT to learn!

High Honors ...

I ended up with an "A-" in my nightmare main theory class, an "A" in my EOL (End of Life) class and an "A" for my clinicals. I could not be more proud of myself, I am not naturally a straight A student. It was an AWEFUL quarter! Yeah, it's over, halleluiah!

One more round ...

Wow, 5TH quarter is finally over! Hallelujah! I am greatly looking forward to rolling up my sleeves and getting my hands back into patient care and giving medications. I just pray God keeps me safe (or rather my patients).

:o)

I think I can, I think I can!!!!

I am sooooooooooo done with this quarter! I have two take home questions for final that are worth 20 out of the 80 points on my final and I really don't want to do them! I have the first question answered mostly and I am totally stuck! Ugh! I just have to keep telling myself yet again ... I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

Light at the end of the tunnel ...

I am so happy the quarter is almost over. I feel like there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. I had no idea how rough this quarter would be. I am so glad that I made it to my last 6 clinicals "early" and was not held back. I am looking forward to next quarter. I am certainly nervous though ... all hands on is exciting and very intimidating. I hope I get a really awesome preceptorship location. I am keeping my fingers crossed, just 2.5 more weeks to go this quarter and only 3.5 remaining months to go!!! Yippee!!!

Computers ...

My laptop has been on the fritz for a while so I made sure (or so I thought) to copy my "Nursing School" folder that has EVERYTHING from 1st quarter until now that I have worked on, onto my external hard drive. When I went to pull up my research paper that I have worked on for 4 quarters to edit for the (hopefully) last time it wasn't there!!!! My laptop is so messed up now that I can't get anything off of it, can't email it, can't print it and can only view it in windows "compatibility mode". I nearly burst into tears; I was sickened by the thought that at 1130 at night I would have to re-type all 8 pages ... I am barely better than a hunt-and-peck typist, it would take me all night to retype all 2,036 words! Fortunately my husband eventually was able to get a copy of the file off of the laptop so I could edit it on our desktop and print it for class tomorrow. I still have so much more on there that I want to get off, what a mess.   

Crazy!

AHHHHHHHHHHHH ... yeah that’s about all I have the energy for this quarter. I am literally surviving week by week! I am barely able to keep up and all other activities have fallen to the wayside!

I feel like the little engine that could " I think I can, I think I can, I think I can"!

Oye!